


Tell me something sweet (to get me by)

by Gemzy



Category: H2O Delirious - Fandom, H2OVanoss - Fandom, VanossGaming (Video Blogging RPF)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cutting, Fluff and Smut, I Don't Even Know, I think that's enough tags, M/M, Misunderstandings, Rumours, Scars, Tumblr Prompt, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-16
Updated: 2015-04-16
Packaged: 2018-03-23 07:38:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3760003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gemzy/pseuds/Gemzy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jonathan does not participate in gossip. Evan is just close friends with Sydney, they go on lunch dates with their friends and take silly photos together, but their not dating. Right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tell me something sweet (to get me by)

**Author's Note:**

> This took me forever, and I'm so so sorry for that. This is the longest thing I've ever written and it's for cadelnicolekatieandcamille, who really wanted me to finish it, my Jealous!Jonathan fic. Enjoy!  
> Follow me lostindaydreams-gemz.tumblr.com and send me prompts

Tell me something sweet (to get me by)

_~ I just feel complete when you’re by my side._

  
Jonathan does not participate in gossip. He doesn’t participate in it, and he certainly doesn’t care about what people think of him. He knows he’s weird with his obsession with teddy-bears and his mysterious hockey mask that hides his face, and he’d never been foolish enough to listen to the drunken giggling words of Craig and Nogla. No, he would never do that.  
So he doesn’t know what to do with himself when he browses the web and checks to see if the rumours are true for himself, it’s past midnight and well into the early hours of morning and his head aches from editing multiple videos of Battle Block Theatre, H1Z1 and Hektor.  
He’s pretty sure that the rumours are 100% bullshit, just something someone made up for a laugh.  
Better safe than sorry, although he’s not sure which would be worse in this situation – safe or sorry.  
  
Fuck.

He ignores the weird, hollow feeling that he gets in his chest and continues to browse through Instagram for the image everyone is talking about, and there it is. It’s a nice photo, he will admit to that. And he unconsciously smiles, his eyes tracing over Evan’s features.  
Evan and the girl who, he reads is called Sydney, both look so happy in the picture, both smiling widely with their arms around each other. He hadn’t wanted to believe it. Even staring it in the face, he still doesn’t want to believe it.  
_She’s so fucking pretty._ And she’s young, all beautiful long blonde hair and pretty brown eyes, eyes that are framed with the longest and blackest lashes he’s ever seen.  
And something in the back of his mind whisper’s that maybe this is his fault!  
Maybe he wasn’t a good enough boyfriend, maybe he didn’t put out enough, maybe he didn’t pay enough attention to the one he loves more than anyone else in the _fucking world._

Shit, probably.

  
It doesn’t make it any easier to process though. No less painful.  
He’s hunched over too long concentrating hard on the way Evan’s smiling and the way his toned arm is wrapped around Sydney’s shoulder.  
He can’t look away. He still remembers the feeling of that arm wrapped around him. How safe it made him feel, all muscled warmth and protectiveness.  
But this is different though. He’s not the one in the picture instead is a pretty girl who looks like a fucking supermodel compared to him, and him, well he’s just Jonathan.  
Plain and ordinary, a little too pale and skinny but that’s all. So Jonathan can’t help the insecurity that wells inside of him, he can’t help it when they look so fucking perfect together.  
Jonathan realizes that he’s been sitting at his computer desk for far too long and his expression wavers, his smile loosening until it falls away completely.  
He really does try to smile through the wave of jealousy that comes over him, but it swallows him up faster than he can control himself. The weight of all the unpleasant emotion inside of him cracks like a ruptured volcano in his chest.  
He clicks on a few more of Sydney’s Instagram pictures and there they are again. Evan’s smiling in the picture again, and Jonathan feels his chest constrict more painfully. Evan of course smiles a lot but this smile is small and intimate.  
Something only reserved for the ones that are close to his heart. And his eyes skim through the comments of _“You look so good together.”_ And someone confirming rumours with _“They are dating”_  
The picture entitled _“Grabbing breakfast with my partner in crime”_ makes something bitter rise in the back of his throat.

Not caring of the damage that may or may not be caused he cuts the power to his computer and sits in the darkness of his bedroom, listening to the pitter patter of steady rain against his windowpane, his temples were pounding and he sucks in a deep breath, forcing himself to count to ten.  
A small hiccup worms past his lips as he screws his eyes shut, willing the sobs in his chest to die before they escape.  
_Don’t fucking cry;_ he mentally scolds himself, angrily biting down on the inside of his cheek. It doesn't help, and within minutes hot tears are slipping down his cheeks.  
Reluctantly he uncurls his stiff muscles, and moves to his bed he lets himself fall back and sink into the mattress, curling up into a fetal position, stomach clenching painfully as silent sobs wrack his frame.  
Gradually he falls asleep on his tear soaked pillow praying that when he wakes everything will be back to normal and his broken heart is mended.  
  
That night, Jonathan dreamt of the scars that were scattered along his hips were stitched together with red threads that glittered gold in the shine of sunlight, red threads that wrapped tightly around his little finger and he dreamt of Evan, _his Evan._  
Evan whispering words of love and affection, whispering to him that the future was buried under his flawed, scared skin and not in the stars. He dreamt of brown eyes that chased away the nightmares that lingered in his unconscious mind, for at least a little while.  
When he wakes it’s with his phone shaking in drawn out buzzes, he groans, batting uselessly at the high shriek of his phone, and only manages to knock it off his nightstand. Sighing, he blinks blearily at the far wall before groping at the floor, fingers sleep clumsy and numb.  
He taps on his phone a few times, clumsily answering it and buries his face in his slightly damp pillow. “Lo?” he answers his eyes and throat a little raw from crying.  
The voice on the other end of the line is so familiar to him that the pang of hurt that shoots through him is a lot sharper than he'd expected.  
_“Jonathan”_ Evan’s voice was bright and upbeat, the smile on his face was clearly heard in the tone of his voice. Perhaps a tad bit too upbeat. Jonathan’s chest constricts painfully as he forces himself to speak.  
“Ev- Evan” he croaks, voice barely heard over his own pulse, his heart was beating a little too fast and his breath caught in his lungs at the sound of Evan’s deep voice.  
_He loves him so fucking much._  
_“Are you alright?”_ Evan asked worriedly, and the clear concern in his voice makes everything so much worse.  
“Yeah.” He gasps out “Just… just woke up, long night and all.” He laughed shakily covering his face with his arm.  
_“Do you want to talk about it?”_ Evan offers his tone gentle. He hates this, hates being away from Jonathan for long stretches of time. He hates that when he’s away, the nightmares that Jonathan suffers through make a return and there’s nothing he can do to stop them. He can’t run his hands down the smooth slope of Jonathan’s spine to calm him, he can’t whisper words of comfort into his ear and he can’t curl his large body around Jonathan’s protectively.

  
He can’t and it kills him.

  
“No” Jonathan mutters, his voice muffled by the arm across his face.  
_“Oh – Okay”_ Something’s wrong, Evan can feel it deep in his bones.  
The line is silent for a few moments and he can hear Jonathan stretch on the other end, yawning quietly and humming as his joints pop. He can picture it clearly in his mind’s eye, something that he’s seen Jonathan do probably hundreds of times. His muscles moving underneath his pale skin, he can picture him arching his spine and letting out a long- low moan of satisfaction. His throat is suddenly dry and he wishes that he with him instead of San Diego, instead of being 36 hours away.  
_“When does your flight leave?”_ he asks the obviously still sleepy man.  
Jonathan shoots up on his bed, glancing at the clock beside him the reads 11.13am and sighs in relief. “2:35pm to Charlotte. Then my flight from Charlotte to San Diego leaves at 4.40pm. It’s not a long flight.” He replies staring at his bag waiting for him by his bedroom door.  
There’s silence between them again, which feels so wrong. They are never quiet together, their either laughing like maniacs or moaning and singing their love for one another. _He misses him so fucking much._  
_“I love you,”_ he whispers out so softly that Evan almost misses it.  
Evan isn’t sure about a lot of things in his life, but there’s one thing he’s absolutely positive about and it’s his love for Jonathan. He has never and will never love anyone like he loves Jonathan, not even pretty girls with long blonde hair, who everyone thinks he’s dating.  
Jonathan is the only thing he knows for sure. Jonathan is his always.  
So it’s no surprise that he whispers back, with so much fondness in his voice it almost hurts, _“I love you too… so much.”_ He closes his eyes, hands gripping the phone near his ear even tighter than before that its shape would probably imprint on his hand.  
“I’ll see you when I arrive” Jonathan whispers, his throat tightening against the words. “Luke’s got Lui’s address, so we won’t get lost”  
Evan laughs and the sound sends a mixture of warmth and sorrow through Jonathan’s chest. “Yeah, please don’t get lost, I need you.”  
Swallowing past the lump in his throat he laughed along with Evan, “I- I need to go now, I need to shower and change before Luke picks me up.”  
_“Okay”_ Evan says quietly from the other end of the line, _“Be safe.”_  
“I will, bye” he says before hanging up and throwing himself backwards onto his bed.  
Maybe it was all just what he thought it was, just rumours. Evan wasn’t a cheater; he wouldn’t do anything to hurt him.  
_You hope_ the little voice at the back of his head whispered to him.

* * *

 

The drive to the airport and the flight felt like a blur to Jonathan, he was lost in his own little world, his mind playing scenario after scenario of what would happen when he met up with Evan and the others. Would Evan still hug him tightly in greeting and gently kiss his neck? Would Evan still hold his hand in public? Would Evan admit that the rumours were true?  
  
And the others, did they know about the rumours? Did they know if Evan and Sydney were secretly dating and were sparing his feelings?  
The thoughts ran in circles around his head and before he knew it they were driving to Lui’s which was a short drive from the airport. The others offered to pick them up but Luke refused stating that he like to drive places, and the others shouldn’t go out of their way.  
Throughout the drive Luke kept sending him worried glances, asking him if he was okay whenever they stopped at red lights. He couldn’t lie to his best friend, Luke would see through every fib he said anyway so it was pointless. So he told him the truth, told him about the pictures on Instagram and how everyone thought that Evan and Sydney were dating. He watched as Luke’s hands tightened on the wheel of their rented car, his knuckles turning white.  
  
“Did you tell Evan?” Luke asked, turning back towards the road and waiting for the light to turn green.  
“No, I don’t know if it’s true or not” he said, leaning his head against the cold window as they started moving again.  
Luke hummed low in his throat, “You should talk to him, and tell him about the comments. If it worries you, then it should worry him. He’ll understand.”  
He stayed silent watching the scenery pass him by; San Diego was vastly different from North Carolina and he wanted to absorb every site that he could.  
Their rented car pulled to a stop outside a huge house that was light up like a beacon. He could hear music distantly through the car window, turning to Luke they both smiled. This was where their friends were. Everyone, together.  
Getting out, they pulled their bags out of the trunk and made their way towards the front door. Luke led the way and raised his large hand and knock loudly on the door.  
  
A few seconds later the music was turned down and the door was opened revealing Lui. Lui the little squeaker was a sight for sore eyes; his black hair was styled in a slicked back Mohawk and he was dressed all in black.  
“Fuck Lui, you look like you’re gonna rob a bank!” Jonathan exclaimed laughing along with Luke.  
Lui threw his head back laughing at the comment, “Jesus fuck, Jonathan. It’s good to see you man. Come in, come in.” he gestured towards the stairs. “This is my parents’ house, but their away on holiday and are letting me use it. Pick any room you want, some are already taken. Let me know if you guy’s need anything.”  
Jonathan and Luke nodded, heading towards the stairs with their bags. Pausing at the bottom, Jonathan turned to Lui “Who’s all here?”  
Lui stopped at his living room door, his hand of the door handle. “Everyone, you guys are the last to arrive.” The door in front of Lui opened, causing him to squeak in surprise.  
Nogla giggled at the noise Lui made, towering over him and looking over his head towards the stairs.  
“I thought that I fucking heard voices out here” Nogla grinned, lumbering his way past Lui and pulling Jonathan into a bone crushing hug.  
“No – Nogla – I can – can’t breathe” he wheezed, struggling in Nogla’s tight grip.  
Lui laughed at his red face before telling Nogla to put him down. “Evan will be pissed if you break him.”  
  
Nogla just hummed in agreement before letting Jonathan go with a small pat on his head. Grumbling in annoyance he poked Nogla in the ribs and continued his journey to his room and ignoring the laughter coming from behind him. He could always share with Evan; he didn’t think Lui would mind, seeing as their friends knew about their relationship. It wasn’t a secret; everyone knew that they were dating. Nogla was after all, their biggest supporter and always made cutesy cooing noises at them.  
But he didn’t want to push his luck, with Evan and with Lui. Having a room to himself could also be his escape if he needed to breathe.  
Unpacking his stuff he quickly changed into his favourite a day to remember shirt and some black ripped jeans before there is a knock at his door. “Brother, are you ready” comes Luke’s voice from the other side.  
Together they make their way through the surprisingly crowded house. They spot Craig and Tyler sitting in the corner of the living room, Tyler’s girlfriend off to the other side of the room giggling with Marcel and Simone. Lui was right, everyone was here.  
Craig took a swig of his beer and clocked them standing at the living room entrance, he cheered and waved them over with a large grin on his face, his cheeks slightly flushed from the alcohol he had consumed.  
Tyler watched them as they made their way through the crowd of people dancing to the music blaring in the background, Jonathan and Luke, looked good both of them smiling happily, but there were dark marks under Jonathan’s eyes and his normally bright shining eyes were a little dulled.  
  
“Glad you boys could make it” Tyler said, offering them both a beer from the cooler at his feet. Luke raised an eyebrow at the cooler, confusion written all over his face. “You’re probably wondering why we’ve got a cooler and not keeping the beers in the fridge?” Craig asked, noting the glance Luke gave.  
Jonathan and Luke nodded their heads.  
“Wait a few minutes and you’ll understand why” Tyler muttered under his breath.  
Jonathan tilted his head to the side in the adorable confused way he always did when he didn’t understand something, then he heard a high – pitched giggle unlike anything he had ever heard before.  
  
“Theeeeere it is.” Craig said in a sing-song voice.  
“What the holy fuck was that” Luke looked utterly appalled, looking around for the origin of the noise. The other people around him laughed slightly at his dismayed expression.  
“That would be on of Lui’s friends. He invited some of his other friend, who in turn invited their friends and that’s why the place is so crowded.”  
Jonathan’s eyes widened and he gasped in mock outrage, “He has other friends!”  
Craig snorted into his beer and Tyler shook his head at the bizarreness of his friend. In the distance between their corner and the kitchen, he could see Nogla towering above everyone else with Adam making their way towards them and scooping Jonathan up in a bear hug.  
“Nogla, not again.” Luke laughed watching as Jonathan struggled in Nogla’s grasp. Adam laughed and joined the hug.  
“Delirious, man it’s good to finally meet you.”  
“Likewise Nanner’s” Jonathan gasped out before spasming a little, taking a deep lungful of air and going limp in Nogla’s arms, playing dead with his head heavy on the Irish man’s shoulder.  
“Awk no, I’ve killed him” Nogla laughed, raising Jonathan dead arm and watching it flop back down again. “I du b'lieve I need to get rid of the body. Marcel, come help me bury Jon.”  
Marcel looked up from across the room and laughed at Nogla holding up a deadweight Jonathan and scampered over to them moving to pick up Jonathan’s legs.  
“Eek” he squealed happily as his feet left the floor. “If you two bury me I'll haunt your skinny asses for _eternity._ And I won’t be a regular ghost, I’ll fucking pop up at the _most inconvenient times._ ” Tyler and Craig were rolling around the couch, gasping in stitches as Luke shook his head with Adam.  
“I’ll sing Barbie Girl to you when you’re about to fall asleep, I’ll move your shit around so you can’t find anything and most importantly I’ll give a _live fucking commentary_ when you’re having sex.”  
Tyler was wheezing, watching Jonathan howl with his maniacal laughter.  
“No, Fuck this. I’m out” Marcel declared, his cheeks flushed from laughing and he swung Jonathan’s legs along with Nogla and set his body directly on top of Tyler and Craig.  
He loved them all being together, Jonathan was always the life of the party and Marcel loved the way he laughed when he was with his friends, loved the way he felt with all of them together. Like to world could end and he wouldn’t care because he was surrounded by the people who he loved the most.  
  
“That was hilarious,” Craig gasped, his face flushed a brilliant red and Jonathan’s head was in his lap.  
“You know me, I like to be dramatic.” Jonathan giggled before standing up. “Where are the others?” he enquired looking around the crowd of unfamiliar faces that were now paying attention to them.  
“They’re in the kitchen” Adam nodded to the Mohawk that was now visible through the parted crowd.  
“’Kay, be back soon.” Jonathan nodded to Luke and made his way with little difficulty though the crowd of strangers. The kitchen was a lot more crowded than the living room, seeing as it had a back door to the garden and pool. Many people were in bathing suits of some sort, taking full advantage of the still warm day. Jonathan looked around the room, looking for the familiar brown eyes and inky black hair. The high – pitched giggle was heard again and Jonathan smiled to himself ducking his head as he heard a course of groans coming from the living room.  
The kitchen was big and as he made his way through the cluster of people he finally spotted Evan – who was sitting next to the girl in the Instagram pictures.  
  
Fuck.His.Life  
  
Their heads were bent together whispering quietly and they were sitting so close that Jonathan was surprised one wasn’t in the other’s lap. They were oblivious to their surroundings and Jonathan felt his heart stutter in his chest.  
“They look happy together don’t they?”  
Jonatan looked behind him to a girl he’s sure he’s seen before but can’t quite remember why she looks familiar. He flickers his eyes to the duo in front of him. However after doing so, he felt the inside of his chest tightening, the blood under his skin boiling, and the feeling of his jaws clenching with such force, he swore his teeth would shatter.  
He’s no stranger to the dull, empty ache that comes with loosing someone he loves. His parents divorced when he was a kid, his family coming and going throughout his life, friends moving across the country to attend different schools, girlfriends leaving him because they weren’t what he wanted, and then boyfriends leaving him because he refused to be their dirty little secret. The only constant in his life was his mother, sister and Luke and now his online friends was a constant thing in his life. Something he loved with all his being. But now he’s terrified. Looking at Evan and Sydney still enraptured in their own world, he’s terrified that everything is tumbling down around him.  
  
Jonathan clenches his fist against his hip and a dull ache goes through him. When he thinks of the small cuts, shame pinches at him. He wasn’t suicidal, he wouldn’t leave his family alone in the world, it would break his mama’s heart and his sister needed him, even if she would never admit it.  
And he wouldn’t leave Luke without a best – friend, but the small cuts were a comfort, the small drops of blood that dripped down his hip remind him that he was real and that he was alive.  
He just wanted to feel something other than the loss and emptiness he felt weave about the delicate curves of his too fast beating heart.  
When Evan entered his life, he didn’t look at the scars in disgust like many of his previous partners had when he undressed. He wasn’t a virgin when he and Evan first had intercourse, but fuck he wish he was. The worship in Evan’s eyes and the gentle kisses he placed on the scars still make him cry.  
And Jonathan tries not to be selfish.  
  
Honestly, he does. He tries to keep the dark swirl of emotions that harbour in his chest from coming out because he’s never been good at dealing with emotions, he’s a big fan of ignoring a problem until it goes away, and honestly he’s not worth worrying over.  
Evan throws his head back laughing at something Sydney said and the joyful sound sends unexpected sorrow through him. He was just fooling himself into believing he was more. And god does that make him angry. Their group is big, huge by other YouTube groups, and for a long as he can remember, he’s always though that his spot was by Evan’s side. And now he realizes he was wrong, so, so wrong.  
He feels like he’s struggling to keep his head above water, tight panicked sensation in his chest, and it’s hard to breathe, he’s sure he’s drowning on dry land. It’s all too much.  
He doesn’t want to be selfish, so when the girl asks him if he’s okay, he turns to her smiling and laughing agreeing with her that they do look happy together before walking back out the kitchen and back towards Luke and the others.  
He’ll keep this hurt to himself because everyone deserves to be happy, even if he’s not and he’s okay with that. The laughter surrounding him is enough for him, for now.

* * *

“So are you okay now?” Evan asks his dark eyes intent on Sydney’s own. “I know how fans can be sometimes, just don’t let them get to you, yeah?!”  
“Yeah” Sydney replies smiling brightly at him as he looks around the kitchen for the first time since they started their conversation.  
“When did all these people get here?” Evan looks so confused that Sydney giggles at his expression.  
The kitchen is so crowded that Evan can’t even see the living room anymore, but he sees Lui at the pool side and excuses himself to go speak to the little squeaker. Sydney simply nods and moves through the crowd to the living room, she waves at Simone and quickly takes the empty spot on the couch next to Tyler’s girlfriend. When Tyler comes back with beers in his hands he raises a brow at her, she sees him shake his head before moving to the crowd of people sitting by the wall, he takes a seat next to a man with dark hair and pale skin. They’re playing cards – poker she thinks, and Tyler is looking over the man’s shoulder, giving tips while the little circle of people complain that their cheating. Simone’s boyfriend declares war and the tall Irish man shouts random illegible words.  
  
The man laughs and it’s the same maniacal laugh that she vaguely heard in the kitchen. She hears him call, what seem to be his close friends, sore losers. Her attention is once again stolen when she hears people congratulate Lui on his party. Evan’s with him and she smiles at the attention they’re getting. Evan deserves to be in the limelight, always.  
He’s funny and perfect and he knows how to treat a girl kindly.  
The group of people playing cards look in their direction, cheering and asking if they want to play. Sydney shakes her head calling out Evan’s name over the loud music and laughter, but he doesn’t seem to hear her, instead his dark eyes clock onto something and as she follow his gaze she see the pale man nod towards him with what seems to be a slightly strained smile.  
She watches as Evan moves through the crowd once more and kneels down towards the dark haired man and Tyler gets up to leave, his hand on Evan’s shoulder in greeting.  
The man smiles at Tyler as he stands watching the card game, Tyler nods before the dark haired man puts down his cards and shouts _“Royal flush bitches!”_  
The circle of people groan loudly as the room bursts into laughter, the man jumps up and high-fives Tyler. Evan laughs along with them, and something buzzes warm in her stomach at the sound, buzzing underneath her skin and sending warmth to her face. She’s blushing, she knows she is.  
  
“He doesn’t love you the way you love him.”  
Sydney gasps and looks up, and there’s Lui sitting perched on the couch next to Tyler’s girlfriend who has a gentle smile on her face as she watches her boyfriend with his group of friends.  
“I don’t know what you mean.” Lui smiles at her and his eyes are drawn back to his friends as Marcel declares a re-match. “He’s already in love with someone else.”  
She narrows her eyes at Lui, trying to figure out if he’s lying or not. Evan’s not in love, she would have noticed if he had someone or not. “He didn’t say anything about being in love”  
“He doesn’t have to,” Tyler’s girlfriend injected quietly, still smiling at her. “He’s been in love for _years_ he just didn’t realize it until a couple of months ago.”  
Sydney turns her head back to look at Evan; he’s playing Poker now with his friends and others in the room and placing bets on who’s going to win. The dark haired man who won earlier excuses himself from beside Evan and goes to exit the living room. The man that she was introduced to earlier, Brock, she remembers calls out a question to where he’s going.  
  
“To take a leak.” Is his flippant response causing giggles to break out around the circle. A few moments pass before Evan climbs to his feet and does the same, flipping off Nogla when he coos at him. Tyler whispers something to him before he exits and Evan’s mouth tightens slightly before he nods.  
She turns back to Lui, questions on the tip of her tongue and Lui just shakes his dark Mohawk head and offers her another beer.  
She’ll find out the truth, not right now though, with Tyler’s girlfriend walking over to kiss her boyfriend and whisper in his ear. She sees him glance her way; there are too many eyes on her at the moment, she’ll find out, one way or another.

* * *

 

Exiting the upstairs toilet, Jonathan is greeted with the sight of Evan leaning against the opposite wall. He’s dressed in black jeans with a black button up, his sleeves are rolled up and he looks _fucking hot as sin._  
Flashing a smile at him, Jonathan moves towards the stairs but Evan’s arm blocks his way.  
“You’re angry with me.” He says, all conversational – like. Jonathan feels his heart stop.  
“No,” he says, eyes trained on the floor “Of course not.”  
“Tyler says that you told him you were.”  
“I lied,” Jonathan replied, making himself look up at Evan.  
Bravado is so fucking his middle name..... sometimes.  
“I lie all the time. It’s horrible, bad habit really. I need help, can you recommend a therapist?”  
“No, you didn’t.” Evan says, leaning closer and staring at him dead in the eyes “I can tell when something’s wrong, and I know something is.”  
Jonathan swallows hard and shuts his eyes for a moment; he wishes the world would open up and swallow him whole. He doesn’t want what he has with Evan to ever go away. He loves him so fucking much. This is so out of his depth that for several beats he’s breathless.  
He can smell Evan’s aftershave, he can feel the heat emanating from his large body and when he opens his eyes he can see the worry in the depth of Evan’s dark eyes.  
He whimpers softly in the back of his throat and it’s hard to tell who closes the distance – maybe it’s both of them at the same time – but suddenly they’re kissing, and Evan finally melts with relief at the taste of Jonathan. He’s with him in his arms and he’s never been so happy, he puts all of that into the kiss as best he can, trying to communicate without words how important he is, how important this is.  
Jonathan laughs when there is a break in the kiss so they could both answer the subtle ache of their lungs for air, the laugh sounds broken and hollow and Evan furrows his brows in confusion.  
“Jonathan, please. Tell me what’s wrong.”  
“What’s wrong?” Jonathan whimpered “You’re in love with someone else, that’s what’s wrong.”  
“Wait – what” Evan’s mind skidded to a halt, his eyes searching Jonathan’s damp blue orbs for signs of joking, “Who – what – oh!”  
The conversations he had with the others suddenly made sense now, why Nogla and Marcel were suddenly very interested in his relationship with Sydney, why Tyler kept repeating that he’s never seen him so happy than when he’s with Jonathan, and why everyone else was keeping both their eyes on Jonathan, even Luke who always was protective of him, was glued to his side.  
  
“No. Jonathan, I would never want anyone else.” Evan cupped Jonathan’s face in his hands “Don’t you get it? You’re it for me.”  
Tears leaked out of Jonathan’s crystal blue eyes, and his lips tingled from the memory of that bruising kiss and the spots where Evan’s fingertips were digging into the notches of his spine only moments ago were like pinpoints of sensation impossible to ignore.  
Jonathan sighed as though the entire world was lifted from his shoulders and he went lax in Evan’s embrace, his eyes gleamed haunted from the inside out as he spoke with a strained tone “I thought that I’d lost you.”  
Evan pressed kisses to his forehead, and to his cheekbones down his jaw to his lips and whispered a quiet _never_ against them.  
  
Pulling Jonathan away from the wall he took his hands in his and walked backwards towards the room that Lui had given him. It was huge with a king-size bed and an en suite bathroom, Jonathan hesitated at the door, he stood there, looking lost, helpless and ready to crumble.  
Evan felt sadness fill him, how can this fucking glorious man think that he didn’t want him. He loved him and if he didn’t believe that, then he would have to show him. Taking Jonathan hands in his again he watches as Jonathan had an internal fight with himself before stepping over the threshold and into Evan’s room.  
  
Sighing with relief, Evan moved towards the door and closed it, turning the lock so no one would interrupt them. He turns to Jonathan who’s sprawled across his bed, his eyes closed and his chest rising and falling rhythmically, and as Evan moves towards the bed Jonathan sits up, moving to the bottom of the bed to greet him.  
It all seems like a dream – but Jonathan knows it’s not, not when Evan’s hands gentle caress his cheek and whispers “I love you.” Pressing the words into Jonathan’s mouth like he’s known this for years instead of a few months, like this is a secret that the two of them have had for a lifetime. Evan hands move along Jonathan’s clothed body, not removing clothes just caressing the shape of his hips over his jeans and the long slope of his spine through his t-shirt.  
Jonathan moves his hands to run over the broad expanse of Evan’s shoulders and tugs at the fabric that’s covering them. Evan moves back from where he’s leaning over Jonathan, and tugs his shirt up and over his head and when he looks back Jonathan has done the same thing, his pale skin beckoning Evan’s fingers to touch it, to mark it.  
Evan’s hand moves along the flat planes of Jonathan’s stomach, rough and warm, the pads of his fingertips pushing into the sides of his hips, Jonathan gasps, his eyelids fluttering closed.  
And when he opens them again, Evan is hovering over him, and Jonathan tilts his head to the side to let Evan kiss his neck. His movements are hungry, scraping teeth and searching lips, and Jonathan lets out a sigh, a moan, and a whimper.  
“I love you” Evan whispers again, and again, the vibrations traveling down the length of Jonathan’s spine, “I love you.”  
  
“I want you to listen to me very closely; can you do that for me Jonathan?” Evan enquired as he slowly removed their trousers, stopping short at the site of Jonathan’s black silk boxers.  
Jonathan whimpered as the cool air hit his overheated skin, but he nodded at Evan, signalling that he was listening.  
“Okay, here goes.”  
“I love you, and I want you to know that I don’t love you because you’re practically famous, I don’t love you because you’re insanely handsome and women and men everywhere fall over you.” Beneath him he hears Jonathan chuff at the remark, “It’s true.”  
His voice is even softer now. “I love you because after everything that’s been done to you, you still smile so brightly and you still love everyone so _fucking much._ Because of that, I love every scar you bear” he says with a gentle kiss to his clothe covered scars. “Every memory of hard choices you had to make for your mother and sister. I love the dark and terrible parts of you that you’ll never share with me.”  
  
“I love the colour of your eyes and I love the way they shine.” He said as he started into the crystal blue eyes beneath him, they were brimming with tears and he leaned down to kiss the dampness from his cheeks. “I love your voice, when you sing and when you talk. I love it when you gasp my name.”  
His voice gets softer now, “I love everything about you. I love how focused you get that you sometimes don’t notice anything else in the room, expect for me. I love your smile. I love your laugh no matter how maniacal it sometimes is. I even love your angry face, when your nose scrunches up.  
I love you Jonathan.”  
Jonathan is openly crying now, tears leaking from his blue eyes and he stares up at Evan like he’s never seen him before. He speechless but Evan’s not finished yet and he leans down to lap at the tears on his cheeks, humming gently at the salty taste of them.  
“You say my name like it’s your first and last word, you cherish it like it’s something sacred. You say my name like it’s the only name you want to say, and I love the way it rolls off your tongue, almost as if your tongue is caressing the syllables.” And through his tears Jonathan groans out a wreaked version of his name.  
“I love your hair” he says as he runs a hair through the dark mass, “So soft and silky between my fingers.”  
“I love your throat” his lips moving to press kisses to his jugular, “The way it constricts when I make you gasp. And I love the way you moan beneath me.” As if commanded a moan rips its way out of Jonathan’s throat, strangled and longing.  
Evan moves back to look down at him, his pupils dilated and his eyes almost looking black. He gazes down at Jonathan until blue meets black and he drags one of his large hands down Jonathan’s stomach to his hips and grasps him through his underwear, Jonathan gives a startled cry and buckles up into his hand.  
“I love the way it feels to be inside you, the way you tilt your hips just right so I can go even deeper. I love how you clench around me, holding me inside like you never want to let me go. I love how perfectly I fit inside you, like you were made for me.”

* * *

 

Jonathan was breaking apart and he loved it so much.  
Never in his life would he have imaged Evan to say such things, the words made his heart sing.  
He trusted Evan so much.  
He _loved_ him so much.  
This much – enough to let him do as he pleased with his body. He could have taken a knife to his heart and Jonathan knew that he would probably just whine and ask for more.  
There was very, very little that Jonathan could focus on. Everything had dialled down to mostly just feeling. Only Evan. He was the only one Jonathan could ever trust like this. He was the only one that made everything quiet enough for him to think and to let go like this.  
Giving himself over to Evan set him at ease, submitting to Evan’s every word and action and letting someone else be in charge of his body. The reality was that it terrified him more than it exhilarated him. He only trusted Evan this much, only trusted Evan to take him apart, piece by piece, and then rebuild him and put him back together.  
  
If he was being truthful, then Jonathan supposed it didn’t dial down to just feeling. It dialled down to Evan, Evan, _Evan._  
  
He gasped when Evan moved closer to kiss the corner of his eyes, his temples and down to the tip of his nose. He dropped hotter, wetter kisses over his mouth and jaw, fingers gently tracing over his cheeks.  
He hadn’t stopped there, he had continued his little body worship game all down Jonathan’s body, mouthing along his neck and biting at his shoulders.  
His fingers had skimmed down his sides, teasingly over his stomach. There never went quite low enough, he was pliant and malleable under Evan’s watchful gaze. He could feel it on him, even without seeing it.  
“Jonathan” Evan’s voice just barely calling him back to reality. He was shaking “Are you okay?”  
The softness in his tone, the gentleness that he always treated him with, was so very apparent, and Jonathan couldn’t help another shudder from running down his spine.  
“Ye – yeah. I’m alright.” His voice was softer than he’s expected it was more muted, but held that floating quality to it.  
Only for Evan. Always only for Evan.  
“Okay.” Evan’s hands were back; sliding up over his hips as he left increasingly wet kisses up his bare thighs Jonathan couldn’t help the little noises he made, shuddering when Evan noses along the crease of his hips, mouthing gently at his boxers. He was shushed with just the feeling of Evan’s fingers drumming along the jut of his hipbone. He nodded, even though he couldn’t tell if Evan could see it or not.  
  
Evan was taking his time, though, and Jonathan felt like he wanted to scream. It was maddening, how close he was to being touched without actually being touched. There were wet kisses being placed along his hips and thighs. There was a map of marks along his inner thighs on both sides and along his stomach, marking him up with what he was sure were going to be dark purple and red bruises. He knew Evan hadn’t broken the skin though.  
He trusted him not to.  
Jonathan moaned when Evan shifted his legs up, bending them at the knee and then moving them to press back into his chest. He felt hands run up the underside of his thighs, and spread them a little more, the same heat curling low in his stomach again He’s been hard and flushed in his boxers the entire time. During Evan’s ministrations he’s only gotten harder and harder, shaking and shuddering to the point that Evan had to stop and ask if he was alright.

* * *

 

“You’re being such a good boy for me.” Evan cooed as he ran his hands down Jonathans’ toned body, his breath hitching in his throat as he stared at his boyfriend squirming impatiently beneath him on his bed.  
Jonathan’s body trembled and he couldn’t help the small whimper that leaves the back of his throat as Evan’s large, calloused hands caress his smooth skin, running his fingers along his ribs, counting them gently as he passed and stroking along the curve of his waist, his touch always remaining feather – light and dizzying.  
Evan’s strong fingers ran tenderly down his waist and over Jonathan’s hipbones and he smiled as Jonathan arched whimpering into the touch.  
Jonathan felt his stomach leap against the touch, his toes curling and digging into the mattress as Evan continues along his hips bones before being interrupted by the black silk, boxer-clad waist and Jonathan moans low in his throat as Evan delicately massaged the tense muscles there with his fingertips.  
He laughed quietly to himself as he felt his body heat up, desire rushing like liquid fire through his veins and the tingling of his hips where Evan’s fingers were dancing over just seconds ago. Evan always takes care of him, massaging him and kissing every inch of his skin.  
  
His lips feel puffy and moist from where he’s been biting them, stopping himself from making some sort of obscene noise and he let Evan’s careful fingers have their way as they slowly pull away the silky black fabric and he pulls the other man in for a crushing kiss, cupping his cheek with his hand and raking nails through silky dark hair in attempt to busy his trembling fingers and bitten lips with Evan’s.  
He gasps and throws his head back, breaking the kiss as Evan slides his thumbs under band at either side of his hips and began slowly sliding them off but stopping half way down, being sure to only touch him lightly, driving him to the brink before bringing him back.  
Gasping and keening his hand shooting down to press Evan’s palms flush against his slick skin, needing the contact more than air. ‘Please-’ He whimpers against Evan’s lips. His insides were curling and alight with arousal in a way that made him a whining mess against Evan’s hands and lips, arching up from the bed and pushing his body against Evan once again, surrounding himself in the younger man’s warmth and smell and skin.  
Evan chuckles lightly from above him and gives in and quickly removes the dark underwear from his body. Jonathan groans out an ‘Oh, god-’ grinding his hips against Evan’s, desperately needing some friction and Evan _tuts_ at his actions. “I thought I taught you better control than this.” He whispers quietly in Jonathan ear and keeps both of his hands on his hips to keep him from bucking up. His dark eyes fixed on Jonathan’s and Jonathan feels himself fold, submitting to Evan.

His body calming and stilling underneath his weight and he closes his eyes breathing lungful’s of the man above him and Jonathan knew he wasn’t allowed to move. Evan had given him an order not to, accompanied by a sharp look, and that had been that.  
Jonathan spreads his legs and at the back of his mind he acknowledges that he must look utterly obscene, but he doesn't care, not when Evan hums sounding satisfied. He opens his eyes to see Evan surveying his body, nodding approvingly. He feels himself grow warm with the obvious care in Evan’s dark eyes. "You're such a good boy," Evan murmurs. "My good boy."  
"I'm yours," Jonathan says immediately.  
"That's right," Evan agrees, nodding. "You're mine." With that, Evan spreads Jonathan's legs apart a little further he didn’t know when, but Evan had apparently located his lube, probably from the bed – side table and popped the cap on it. He could hear the little squirt as Evan squirted some into his palm. It made an obscenely wet sound as he rubbed it around his fingers, lubing them up.  
There was hardly a moment between Evan lubing them up and then pressing two directly into him. Jonathan gasped, arching up off the bed and spreading his thighs wider and tipping his head back further. He hadn’t expected this. He’d expected Evan to continue his slow, teasing touches. The was Evan working with purpose now, pressing and twisting inside of him in all the ways he knew drove Jonathan absolutely insane.  
He could already feel his orgasm building, his control teetering on the edge. His hands reached up and curled his fingers through Evan’s inky black hair, marvelling in its softness, wondering vaguely if Evan would ever be inclined to tie him up.  
Evan’s finger’s pressed deeper inside of him and he lost that train of thought, he was amazed that Evan hadn’t gotten bored with the small whining noises he could tell he was making. He was getting desperate, he realized belatedly.  
  
Evan’s mouth was moving along his stomach, placing hot, wet kisses along the trail below his belly button and down towards his hips. He was refocusing on that again. The scratch and scrape of Evan’s slight stubble and hair against his skin, sensitive as it was, was driving him close to the edge and to madness. He whined, pressing up into Evan’s mouth only just so, seeking permission to continue and Evan chuckled darkly, pressing him back down into the mattress, and with that Jonathan had his answer. He moans, the sound low and drawn out as Evan pressed into him just so in that way that he knew would make Jonathan cum.  
He would have too, if Evan hadn’t immediately withdrawn all of his fingers, keeping him from rolling his hips down onto him for that last bit of pressure that he needed. He could feel himself at the edge, whining and writhing trying to find some stimulation to push him. Just that tiniest bit over and into orgasm, but he couldn’t find it.  
Evan’s mouth wasn’t on his skin anymore; there were no fingers inside of him, no palms sliding up his skin.  
There was only Evan above him looking down at his with his dark eyes and his own heartbeat in his ears.  
“Calm down.” Was the first thing Evan said when his heart started to slow down, Jonathan whimpered, falling and sliding away from the edge almost as quickly as he’d gotten there.  
Evan’s voice was calm and reassuring, but the hint of command in it had him holding back, holding still. Evan’s hand came up to cup his cheek and turn his mouth into a soft kiss. It was all gentle motion and warm heat. Evan knew how to make him cum so hard he blacked out, but he also knew how to keep him from cumming for so long that he would beg and sob.  
  
“Feeling better?” Evan asked against his lips  
“Yeah – yes” he replied and was rewarded with a hand, heavy and solidly anchoring him down, sliding down to rest on his stomach. He gasped, nearly choking on the sound as Evan wrapped his fingers around him. His breath was drawn out into a long, low moan.  
Evan’s wrist twisted at just the perfect angle to make him arch up. He nearly whined when Evan’s other hand came up to push his hips back down.  
“I want you to beg, Jonathan. I want you to beg to cum and I want you to beg me to fuck you.” Evan removed his hands and before Jonathan could whimper out a response, he felt the hard flats of Evan’s palms move along his ribs, down his sides, over his hips.  
“Please. Evan.” He whined, spreading his legs and all but presenting himself. “Please let me cum, pleases take me apart.”  
He could feel his face flushing, his cock leaking hard against his stomach. He was bringing himself even closer to cumming, just by talking about what he wanted, “Please.”  
His voice was little more than a whisper by then, murmured into the air and leaving the begging feeling of desperation in the air.  
When he glanced up at Evan he saw the pleased look on his face.  
The fingers were pressed back inside of him, both at once this time. Probing and slow, they were moving and stretching with purpose  
Evan mouthed his way up his neck, pressing hard against the spot inside of him that made his see stars and whine so loud that he thought humans wouldn’t be able to hear.  
He’s almost there when Evan pulls out his fingers once again, there a slick sound in his ears.  
  
Evan spreads Jonathan’s legs a little further, and Jonathan sighs happily as Evan _finally_ pushes in.  
_This_ is what he’s been waiting for, this is what he wants. _Needs_ , even. He wraps his legs around Evan’s waist and arms around his shoulders, clinging.  
_“So needy,”_ Evan murmurs teasingly, but Jonathan can hear the affection in his voice.  
Evan starts to fuck into him hard, grunting and thrusting, and Jonathan is clinging and whimpering. He feels so protected, so safe with Evan. Evan would never let anything hurt him. He was stupid to believe any differently.  
“You’re so good, Jonathan.” Evan says breathlessly “So good.”  
Jonathan loves it when Evan praises him like that. It feels like he can do anything when he does. He lifts a hand and catches the back of Evan’s neck and pulls him into a kiss, it’s clumsy and messy and he’s murmuring, incoherent babble and Evan just knows he's close.  
_“Mine,”_ Evan moans, shoving in deep and gripping Jonathan's hips tightly. Feeling Jonathan tightens obscenely around him, and then he’s tumbling over the edge. Jonathan moans when he feels Evan’s release painting his inside and his orgasm racing through him and shooting up his spine, arching his body into Evan’s.  
_“Yours,” Jonathan sobs, “Yours, Yours, Yours. I love you, I love you”_  
  
Evan marvels at the sight beneath him, pale skin flushed and Jonathan’s crystal blue eyes shining brightly, the sun pouring in from the window illuminating his body, Jonathan’s so fucking beautiful, and he tells him so.  
“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he whispers. “I know I say a lot of shit when we’re in the middle of everything, but fuck, you’re so beautiful, Jonathan, you’re so fucking beautiful and you’re mine.” He leans down to kiss those red bitten lips and the kiss is hot and deep and wet, and Evan bites his lips until they sting and burn.  
  
They spend another hour, worshipping each other with gentle caresses and whispered declarations of affection, before getting dressed, stopping every few minutes to kiss the other. Evan helps him with his t-shirt, fingers grazing over the picture on front, before running his fingers through his hair to tame it back into place. Jonathan reaches up and tangles their fingers together, placing a kiss on both of Evan’s palms. Together they make their way back downstairs.

 

* * *

 

“Have you seen Evan?” Sydney enquired to the tall Irish man whose name she still didn’t know.  
“Umm, no. I haven’t seen him.” Nogla glanced around the room looking for his Asian beefcake of a friend, “Have you checked outside?” Maybe Evan was swimming with Tyler and Jonathan; he did like to show off in front of Jonathan. His friends around him nodded in agreement.  
“No he’s not there, I just checked.” Sydney was getting annoyed, she knew some of the people here, but she only came to spend time with Evan and now he went and ditched her.  
“I’ll check up stairs then” Walking towards the door it opens and in walks Evan, “Evan” she gasps her eyes widening at his content, borderline sated expression. Behind him is the man who won the game of Poker and her eyes travel down to their entangled fingers.  
_“Ohhh,”_ she said, stretching out the syllable.

**Author's Note:**

> Liked it? Then please review it & send me more prompts


End file.
